Hello to you! We received happy and unexpected news yesterday and I am still walking on sunshine today. We weren’t expecting to receive the call about whether or not our eggs made it to blastocyst until today, but they called yesterday. When I saw their name and number come up on my phone, my heart sunk. The emotions I have felt through this journey have been hard to manage at times. It feels like a million thoughts are running through my mind all of the time.
When I answered the phone, the nurse started off by asking me how I was doing. I appreciated the thought but was screaming inside to “just get to the point and give me the news good or bad!” Can anyone relate? Any way, she told me that all 3 of our eggs are grade A and made it to blastocyst! I’m embarrassed to say that my negativity had gotten the best of me lately and I was not expecting a good report. Do yourself a big favor and stay the heck away from reading odds, statistics or watching/reading too many “my IVF fertility journey” stories. Clearly, I am sharing my story, but I will always do it with the ultimate intention of offering you encouragement and hope regardless of what our IVF outcome may be. There are so many incredible women or couples who have been an awesome encouragement to me too, so I’m just saying to try to be careful about what and who you expose yourself to.
The next step for us is PreImplantation Genetic Screening (PGS). We are using GoodStart Genetics and feel like this is an important step for us given my age. It is not a cheap add-on and the price tag will make you cringe! However, if it can reduce the risk of a miscarriage, then we feel it is worth it. There are a myriad of reasons why PGS can be a good choice, but it is obviously a very personal decision. As with all phases of IVF, the risk continues and we are believing for great PGS results, but also stay mindful of not “putting the cart before the horse” as my husband reminds me.
I started my cycle a couple of days ago and will start again on birth control tonight. From what I understand, the PGS screening will take 7-10 days, so implantation will be a few weeks away. I have been trying to keep my mind busy so this doesn’t totally consume me, so that means staying busy. I’m a substitute teacher, so with no job during the summer my days have been long. It is hot as heck where we live and I have longed so badly to go to the beach, but they say I can’t get in beach water for another week due to the egg retrieval. The 4th of July week… a beach day is coming for sure! I’m also enjoying a lot of NetFlix right now and have discovered a few shows I enjoy. Mad Men, Breaking Bad and Gilmore Girls to name a few.. ha!
In closing, I think of all of the women going through infertility struggles every day and I’m in such awe of the courage and sheer tenacity I see in your stories. It has been an incredible opportunity to learn from so many brave women and I thank you. I thought of this scripture today and for the first time can somewhat understand it from God’s perspective because it also describes how I feel about our little eggs. I pray for them. I love them. I’m rooting for them daily. How can you love someone you don’t even know? It must just be that beautiful thing called a Mother’s Love:
“Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart.” Jeremiah 1:5
I came across this song yesterday and had it on re-play for quite a while. I have found comfort from it in the past during many trials I have experienced. The words are beautiful and fit perfectly into how I feel about going through IVF. I hope you find comfort in it too. I don’t mind waiting song.