Good morning! It is a weary and chilly morning here in Florida, but by noon temperatures will reach 80 degrees. It certainly doesn’t feel like November should. I would enjoy a day filled with heat from a fire place, snow flurries and a cup of hot chocolate to stay warm. But instead it will be flip flops and shorts for us! I’m actually not complaining because I know I would tire very quickly from anything snow… haha!
Now onto the important news….
Last Sunday we had our egg retrieval. The doctor got 9 eggs and the next day they called to say that 4 fertilized. Though disappointed, we were and are still staying positive. I have read that generally you lose half (or more) each step of the process. Sure enough, we were told yesterday that 2 turned into embryos. The nurse said the “good news is they are both grade 3BB.” Is that good news? I suppose it could be worse, but good news in my mind would them being 4AA, no? I honestly just think these nurses try to keep all of us nervous Nellies sane by overstating test results sometimes. I get it, I do, but it just doesn’t do much to help my feelings at this point.
Any way, enough whining for me. We do still have a chance. They will be FedExing cells to Good Start Genetics and we hope and pray they are both normal. If I haven’t mentioned it before, we would have a baby with Down Syndrome if that were found. For me, the main purpose of the genetic testing is to find any major disease or condition that would make implantation a problem and/or cause us to have a baby that would be born with suffering in their future due to a serious ailment.
So that is where we are at as of today. I turn 40 in April and the emotional toll of this is starting to rise to the surface. I’m short tempered, moody, bitter and feeling hopeless. Aside from all of the many reasons I have gratitude to be able to afford these procedures, the honest feelings that accompany this process do still remain. My husband and I will get through this and do what we can to stay hopeful, but the upcoming holidays feel more like a burden than anything. My prayer right now is for God to simply sustain me through this storm. Nothing less and nothing more. I know I’m not alone in these feelings and knowing that does ease the blow. So many of you are suffering through this experience too. I send a prayer of hope and encouragement to you today. Hang in there.